Working with your spouse

When people find out that Jesse and I work together full time, they usually say one of two things:

1. “I could NEVER work with my spouse!” or
2. “Ooooh, that’s so cuuuuuuuuuute!”

There are grouchy, difficult days when I’ve sided with the nay-sayers and there are days when I, too, have stars in my eyes and think working with my husband is better than Apple TV. Whoa.

The other 350 days out of the year, we are somewhere in the middle. Somewhere exciting. Somewhere challenging. Somewhere ridiculously rewarding and fun. Somewhere it took a while to get to. Just like anything, there are pros and cons.

The hubs and I have worked together for 5+ years. Here’s what we’ve learned…

Pros
1. We have totally different personalities. We can relate to a larger scope of clients, vendors, etc.
2. We are best friends and love being together.
3. We get to have lunch dates, practically every day.
4. We know each other inside and out. We play off each other’s strengths, on the job.
5. Even if it’s a busy week at work, we still get to see each other.
6. We can turn weekend workdays into mini adventures.

Cons
1. We have totally different personalities.
2. We communicate differently. I want the bottom line. He wants to tell me how he got there.
3. We share an office and I (sometimes, so I’m told) talk too much.
4. I have a hard time separating our personal life from business.
5. We are most productive at different hours.
6. We work from home and it can be difficult to close the office door.

The pros are all nice and pretty but the cons have potential to be detrimental. So, over the years, we’ve worked on communication, patience and implementing job descriptions and systems. Because our strengths are different, we each are in charge of different aspects of our business. So, even though, we’re together a lot, we’re not always working together in the office. We have separate tasks. This helps carve out some individuality.

We’re constantly working on patience and communication. Yes, I already mentioned communication. I’m going to say it again. COMMUNICATION. This includes but is not limited to: Monday morning meetings (where we go over everything going on), expressing expectations and NOT talking during certain parts of the day. (For example: “Hey Beck, I’m going to be working on x,y & z for the next couple hours. Let’s talk about _____ project when I’m finished.” This is a fabulously loud & clear warning not to bug Jesse for a bit. This works for us.)

It’s super important for us to have non-business/married life time. I’ll be honest. As much as we love each other, this can be difficult. It’s sooooo easy to just say what’s on your mind when you have a random business idea during date night, dinner or any other non-business time. Sometimes we break this rule. And we’re okay with that, because we’re excited about what we do! But, for the most part, we think it’s crazy important to shut off your brain and business and just have fun together.

For us, working together is a party when we make the most of the little moments. When we ride our bikes to a seaside lunch date. When we eat breakfast in bed. When we work through lunch and take the afternoon off to catch a movie. When one of is able to hold down the fort if an emergency comes up. It’s best when we appreciate each other and are grateful for this little setup. Yes, the cons can be detrimental, but not if you manage them and focus on the pros.